It Was a Monster. It Was Alive.

the genuine artifice


Neon Lights, Hidden Messages   Submit

A contestant on Jeopardy! has the same quirk about numbers, ordinal-linguistic personification, that I do.

Way to raise awareness of a cool thing the brain does that people think you’re making up when you try to tell them, Jeopardy!

It is no exaggeration that I was waiting more than five years for this, as anyone at whom I’m been singing these songs can attest.

Cool bonus: I won a raffle for one set of vinyl soundtrack + digital download and tote bag.

It is no exaggeration that I was waiting more than five years for this, as anyone at whom I’m been singing these songs can attest.

Cool bonus: I won a raffle for one set of vinyl soundtrack + digital download and tote bag.

Marc took this yesterday while I was singing along to CeCe Peniston’s “Finally” (after subjecting him to a full day of ’90s/’00s dance hits on satellite radio). More than my decidedly unladylike driving position, I am struck by how ghoulish my hands look.

Marc took this yesterday while I was singing along to CeCe Peniston’s “Finally” (after subjecting him to a full day of ’90s/’00s dance hits on satellite radio). More than my decidedly unladylike driving position, I am struck by how ghoulish my hands look.

Anonymous said: What restaurant has a green tea martini?!?! That sounds delicious. Happy Birthday!!

Thank you! Since you’re anonymous, I don’t know who you are or if you live near me. It’s a pan-Asian and sushi restaurant called Papaya, in the central business district of the Pittsburgh airport.

A Cool Thing That Happened Today

But first, a thing that happened last weekend:

My family and Marc and I went out for my observed birthday dinner last Saturday. I ordered a drink that was so bizarre and baffling that even every person but Tobias taking sips from it killed less than half the glass. Our waiter asked if I wanted something else and I declined because I was kind of off alcohol for the evening.

Then tonight.

I met up with Tobias and one of our friends to dine at the same restaurant earlier this evening. The guy seating us was our waiter from Saturday. He remembered me and that I didn’t seem to like my drink. I was mortified and stammered something about being confused. He said they’d give me something I’d like this time.

And I got a free green tea martini.

Which I liked.

I had most of it on an empty stomach, though, which all but necessitated a frozen yogurt run. But still.

That was a cool thing that happened.

Spotted at Target. We’re dealing either with someone in agony or a bread enthusiast, I think.

Spotted at Target. We’re dealing either with someone in agony or a bread enthusiast, I think.

I don’t see it.

I don’t see it.

For my thirtieth (yes hello) birthday, I gave myself an adventure: a solo trip to Philadelphia on a long weekend. It hasn’t always been easy, but as you join me on Night Two, I can say I’ve learned some things:

*While alone, I’m not lonely. Not remotely, actually. It’s been kind of fantastic to go wherever and whenever without worrying if anyone else is having a good time. 

*Restaurants seem confused by me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m just awkward anyway or if it really is strange for women my age (ha ha ha) to dine alone, but it’s a different vibe than when I’m with someone else.

*My new best friends are Uber drivers and non-reception hotel workers. 

*Walking shoes must be tested and retested meticulously before I venture somewhere without a car. I may find excuses not to walk places again when I come home.

*Train travel is like air travel without the illusion of any kind of glamour.

For my thirtieth (yes hello) birthday, I gave myself an adventure: a solo trip to Philadelphia on a long weekend. It hasn’t always been easy, but as you join me on Night Two, I can say I’ve learned some things:

*While alone, I’m not lonely. Not remotely, actually. It’s been kind of fantastic to go wherever and whenever without worrying if anyone else is having a good time.

*Restaurants seem confused by me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m just awkward anyway or if it really is strange for women my age (ha ha ha) to dine alone, but it’s a different vibe than when I’m with someone else.

*My new best friends are Uber drivers and non-reception hotel workers.

*Walking shoes must be tested and retested meticulously before I venture somewhere without a car. I may find excuses not to walk places again when I come home.

*Train travel is like air travel without the illusion of any kind of glamour.

From Scott McClanahan’s Crapalachia.

Much of this book fell under an “upsetting if true” designation to me, but this little part in the Appendix stuck.

From Scott McClanahan’s Crapalachia.

Much of this book fell under an “upsetting if true” designation to me, but this little part in the Appendix stuck.

Reblogged from popculturebrain

Well, this is the only gifset I need right now.

G’night, everybody!

I love everything except the stuff on the farm. What I only today realized as the criticism I levelled against both Looper and Tootsie
I’m working on a spec script about an action hero who does stationary bike interval training. It’s autobiographical.

I’m working on a spec script about an action hero who does stationary bike interval training. It’s autobiographical.

Ever read a book with a universe so distinct that you accidentally remember an event from it as something that happened in your own life?

Yeah, you have.

Look at this guy I found in the same bag as the others. I guess you can beat babality.

Look at this guy I found in the same bag as the others. I guess you can beat babality.

After rollerskating last night and cycling with Marc this evening, I’ve determined why both activities make me so nervous. It’s easy to achieve speed quickly, but not so easy to stop or brake once you do. Sure, you have stoppers on skates or the handle brakes on a bike, but stopping wasn’t one of the things I learned as quickly as I did with a car. It’s essential to know how to stop a car. You can’t get your license unless you prove you know this. Not the same with skating and cycling, so I often end up in that ethereal and terrifying dream moment where you know you’re flying, but powerless to land.

What I’m happy to report about tonight is that I didn’t crash and I didn’t berate Marc, either of which could have resulted from us taking a flat and easy trail this time. I’m getting there.